Actually, Those Launch Strategies Don't Suck. Here's How To Actually Make Them Work.
I heard a rumour.
That you’re launching…
Yay!
I also see you cringing. Your soul shouting NOOOOOOOOOO.
So you do what any sane business owner does.
You bury yourself in Buzzfeed quizzes.
How well do you know the Back From Vacation episode of The Office quiz? 10/10. Feeling hot-hot-hot.
Do you know where everyone sat in The Office quiz? 9/10. That question about Ryan was wrong. He moved so many times.
And finally, do you know who said this quote on Friends quiz? 10/10.
You’re the Queen of Procrastination with Michael Gary Scott as World’s Best Boss and Ross Gellar as Secretary of Pivot.
It’s been fun but back to work you go.
And what’s this? Your launch didn’t magically happen? Damn you Law of Attraction.
So you open your laptop and look at all the launch strategies.
Funnels…
Product Launch Formulas and 3 part video series…
Prerecorded fake-live webinars….
Affiliate marketing…
5 Day Challenges….
And you vomit in your mouth a little.
It’s all SO GROSSSSSSS.
Wait! Before you get your pitchfork out I’m going to say something that's so not like me.
These launch strategies are not bad.
That’s right.
When they work, they work.
The reason you’re having a hard time with them right now is because they’ve been hijacked by sleazy internet marketing douchebags. And that’s the reason you hate them.
I used to HATE running webinars and masterclasses. I avoided them like they were my best friend going on a keto diet as a New Year's Resolution. I couldn’t stand the stock standard sleaze that oozed out of the templates people used.
You’d end up spending 40 minutes of the webinar listening to how some jabroni is God’s gift to the world, but in a relatable way because 'if I can do it, so can you!' and cool origin story bro and just before you think you’ll learn something, nope - check out my testimonials...
Then, there’s FIVE minutes of what to do without any how because that’s what you have to pay for…
Then there’s 20 minutes of selling at the end…
Excuse me while I stab myself in the eye with a blunt fork.
So you can understand why I was the queen of Buzzfeed quizzes when it came to launching…
I was scarred by them.
It wasn’t until a close friend of mine gave me a smackdown.
You can never run a sleazy webinar because you are not sleazy.
You can never run a boring webinar because you are not boring.
You can never run a nasty-ass webinar because you are not a nasty ass.
That’s when it hit me.
It’s not the strategy that sucks.
It’s the douchebags who’re using them that suck.
That’s where we come in.
To take these launch strategies and make them unique to your business, your voice, your brand.
So they stand out, feel fresh, and you make money.
If you’re launching something then get us on your team, stat.