Day 7: Make A Scene

Welcome back to Business Vacation 🍹

The email series where I show you how to set up your business to sell without you in 15 days.

Most emails do one thing very well.

They explain.

They explain the tip, the offer, the process.

They explain why something matters.

And explaining is useful.

But explaining is not always enough to make someone care.

That’s where stories help.

Not big, dramatic, “let me tell you about the summer of 69” stories.

Just a little touch of narrative.

One scene.

One tiny moment your reader can see, feel, recognise and quietly side-eye because it is a little too accurate.

People don’t buy because they understand information.

They buy because something clicked.

Something made them recognise themselves, their problem, their desire, their frustration, or the thing they are completely sick of doing.

And stories do that faster than a neat little explanation ever could.

So remember this little ditty:

Facts tell. Stories sell.

This is where people make it harder than it needs to be.

They think adding story means they need a childhood flashback, a moral lesson, a full beginning, middle and end, and maybe someone crying in the rain.

You do not.

We’re writing an email.

Not trying to win Best Original Screenplay.

All you need is one scene.

If you’re a nutrition coach, the scene might be the bread basket at the restaurant.

The waiter returns with the devil himself. I mean, the bread basket. Instead of being seduced by the dark side and becoming a glutton for punishment, your client takes one piece. She savours it. She enjoys it. She doesn’t spiral. She doesn’t wake up the next morning feeling like she “ruined everything.”

That one scene says more than:

“I help women build a healthier relationship with food.”

It shows it.

If you’re writing an email about your offer, ask yourself:

Where does this problem show up in real life?

Is your person at the laptop?

In the car?

In the kitchen?

On the school run?

In the inbox?

At 11:43pm, googling the same thing for the 900th time and pretending this counts as business strategy?

Zoom into that scene.

Where are they?

What are they doing?

What are they thinking?

What tiny, specific, slightly-too-real thing is happening?

Write that.

Then connect it back to the thing you sell.

Want my help doing this properly?

Want my help setting up your Business Vacation Build?

This is my done-for-you sales path project for business owners who have an offer they’re ready to sell, but need the path between first interest and purchase to work harder.

I’m opening 10 private spots.

We’ll map, write, and rebuild the path your offer needs so people can understand what you sell, want it, trust it, and take the next step without you manually dragging every sale over the line.

If you already know this is what you need, book a Business Vacation Strategy Call here >>>​

Tomorrow, we’re talking about how to make your emails feel personal when you’re sending them to many.

Because the whole point of email is that one person can read it and think:

Holy shitballs.

That’s exactly me.

Til Soon,

Elizabeth